Thursday, June 17, 2010

Official rules of how to raise a family?

I was talking to an out of town friend from Missouri the other day and we were discussing relationships between our mothers, sisters, and other family members. My friend receives constant criticism from her family about how her kids are being raised. She is scrutinized for simple little decisions that she has made. Her extended family believes that the way they do things, should be the way she does things. Now don’t get me wrong, there are things that the bible says regarding how we should live our lives and how we should raise our families. For example, if a believer is in fornication…then that should be dealt with; if a believer is involved with covetous behavior, drunkenness etc. that should be dealt with. There are tons and tons of things that the bible gives us direction in how we should live our lives (read it…it is in thereJ). I get that people have their own opinions on how kids should be raised. I have my own. I give advice when people are looking for advice…but I try to always say…”here is what I have tried….it either worked well or didn’t.” But where do people…even our own flesh and blood…think that the way they think things should be done…is the only and right way?

For example..what are the appropriate ages to have birthday parties with friends? I had Jocelyn’s first friend’s party when she was four. Was I wrong? I invite family over for their 1st birthday and go all out? Am I wrong for doing that?

When should kids be potty trained? I waited until my kids were between 2-2 1/2 years old or when they are ready. Did I wait too late? Should I start before they are 18 months like a lot of people suggest?

Do kids have to play sports? Are we wrong for not signing my 4 year old up for a sport? Are we wrong for never signing up our kids to organized sports?

Are we wrong for not starting a college fund for our kids?

Going back to my friend who is frustrated by constantly getting criticized from her family… as far as I can tell her teenagers have their heads on straight. Maybe they don’t choose to go to schools that their other families members have desired for them. Maybe they aren’t choosing the desired “family” career path. Maybe they aren’t working in the jobs that their family would like them to. I could go on.

But where is the official rule book outlining all of my questions above? There are no official rules out there about these things (except with matters concerning things in the Bible). The official ruling should be with the parents…ok…here I go spilling out my advice….if the parents don’t want their child to work somewhere, the parents should have the say so. If their child doesn’t want go to college, should that family be criticized? In my opinion, I think family members should sometimes just keep their mouths shut and let the parents do the child raising…unless the child is in danger or straying away from the Bible and the parents aren’t taking note. Off my soap box now….but please pray for my friends family….maybe they will chill a bit and just let her family be.


  1. I agree it is the parents' and ONLY the parents' job and responsibility!!

  2. Here's a good example (of yours) of following what tOhe Bible says. Abraham, for instance, was grandfather to Jacob, yet he was called his FATHER. Hmmm....Authority is the central issue of the universe.

    Of course, no one can force someone to follow their suggestions, but, seriously? Would you really want to raise kids without suggestions from others? You young women have PLENTY to tell each other all the time &, well, often, the suggestions aren't so great. Good thing God commands us not to teach Scriptures, since we're so easily deceived.

    Don't forget the verses about the younger women being taught how to love their husbands & raise their children by the older women of the church.
    I do not know your friend or the circumstances. Maybe I would agree with you about her, except, maybe she is bucking the authorities in her life that God has given her. Just some food for thought. :-)